Valentine’s Day is right around the corner! Guys can be the hardest people EVER to shop for, so we decided to ask a few of our favorite men to point us in the right direction. Check out their suggestions and count on a happy guy come the 14th!
FOR THE ALL AMERICAN:
LANDON ECKLES, CEO & FOUNDER, CLEAN JUICE
If I got a pair of Taft boots for every holiday & birthday, I would be a happy guy! These boots are worth the extra cost, as they are made very well and have a unique, but subtle look that really make them stand out. The Saint Boot in Honey are my favorite with spring coming up, but you really can’t go wrong with any from them!
https://taftclothing.com/collections/shoes/products/the-saint-boot-in-honey
My faith is the most important thing to me, and I’m always excited to get a new cross necklace. James Avery always has cool designs, and right now I’m really digging this ‘Nail Cross’ design:
https://www.jamesavery.com/products/nail-cross-large?metal=Sterling+Silver
You can never have too many sunglasses (especially for someone like me who loses more than they would like to admit…). This pair by Electric is my go-to right now! I also just got a pair of ski goggles by them that are my all time favorite!
FOR THE NEW DAD:
MIKE METCALF, GANASSI RACING & DEKA LEADERSHIP
My little guy is going on 6 months and I’m really connecting with him. I can see it with his eyes and his smile, but he can’t speak yet.
A few months ago, I thought, “wouldn’t it be cool for him to one day see what I’m thinking right now?” I now have a nice leather bound journal for him. I write notes regularly, and often end up in tears. I think a nice leather journal for your precious little one is a gift that will be immeasurably worthwhile.
We love these from Rustico!
If you still want to look tough while carrying an adorable little infant, Mission Critical’s tactical baby carrier is really cool. I don’t have one, but a good friend does and its awesome.
You can find it on Mission Critical or Amazon!
Lastly, my wife got me a really nice watch that I want to wear all the time. As a new dad, I feel like I often underestimate how much time it will take to do something for the little guy. Or, a blowout happens and puts me behind. The list goes on, and a watch is helpful for all of those precious life events.
You may be up to your neck in nighttime feedings and diaper changes, but this wood watch will make you feel like you still got it:
FOR THE NEWLYWED
JOSE SUAREZ, MEDICAL DEVICE REP
As a newlywed, my wife got me very rare Swiss timeless watch – Audemars Piguet- it’s something I wear every day. I’m a watch guy and you can never have too many watches.. Starting with at least one for sport/fitness, one for dress, and one for casual is a great place to start!
I love this brand, MVMT. They are good looking and very affordable. Find it here!
Bourbon & whiskey club. There is nothing cooler than getting something in the mail every month. And try a bunch of different bourbons and learn more about every region.
Check it out!!
Culinary class gift card. We just got this as a wedding gift and it’s the perfect date night. The best gifts are about memories and there is nothing better than creating them with your Valentine’s date! Click here to look at their calendar for the closest location near you!
FOR THE GUY WHO DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE WANTS
BRENNAN KERR
In college, I loved J.Crew, and as a young professional, I was happy to find this brand, Taylor Stitch. They have awesome clothes that have a slim fit and professional look, still while having a unique flair to them.
Tom Ford definitely has the best colognes around, but they have a million options, and some much more expensive than others. This one, Noir Extreme, smells great and is on the less pricey side of what he offers:
This wallet is awesome because I only have to keep track of one thing, not both my wallet and phone.
FOR THE ‘HIPSTER’
COBY KRAFT
No guy can ever have enough socks! Stance are definitely the best and have the swaggiest designs. These Valentines Day patterns are really cool:
Check them out here!
I am a sucker for an awesome hat… Fedoras are the best & I’ve been really happy with all the ones I’ve bought from Yellow108.
This bracelet is awesome. Minimal & could have a special meaning with the 2 rings. Definitely something that I’d wear every day!
2018 is here and we are hoping that January has found you healthy and inspired! We love the New Year – it is filled with such promise and is such an awesome time to set the tone for what you want to get and give from the coming months.
In the spirit of living your best life, we put together 18 ways (2018..get it?) that you can help show kindness this year.
1. Write (as in hand write) notes to your immediate family telling them what you love about them. We too often neglect those closest to us & everyone needs to hear those affirming words from the people that know them best.
2. Make dinner for a neighbor. (Bonus points: if they have kids, offer to have their children at your house so they can enjoy a nice dinner in together!)
3. Write a letter of thanks to a soldier overseas. Bonus points: Get your friends, coworkers, or small groups to join in too!
4. Bake some cookies and give them to a few hard working people that serve you in some recurring capacity – teachers, UPS delivery guy or gal (all you Amazon Prime-ers.. I’m looking at you), pastors, etc.
5. Use that social media stalking for good! Instead of just scrolling when you are laying in bed at night, take a second to comment some nice things on every (ok, ok…most) pictures that pop up.
6. Send a text to the first 5 people you think of after reading this.Something as easy as, “Just thinking of you!” has the power to change someone’s day.
7. Oldie but a goodie: pay for the person behind you in line.
8. Hop on to Go Fund Me and browse all the campaigns. Choose 1 (or a few) that really speak to you and donate what you can.
9. Let ‘your person’ (spouse, roommates, children) know that you love them. Cut out 10 (or more) hearts on construction paper, write things you love about them on them, and hang them up in the bathroom while they are sleeping. What a great way to start their morning!
10. Train your brain against hate. You know that one person that just gets to you? The one who makes you feel like this…
… Every time that you start to think about their brutal tendencies, stop and tell yourself something nice about them. It might be hard at first, but you can start with tiny things, literally like “One day they wore black jeans and I like black jeans.” Training yourself to let go of that negative energy will only help you in the long run!
11. Pack some Blessing Bags to keep in your car to hand out to homeless people you come across.
12. Call your parents! (Or Grandparents, or Aunt…)
13. Throw a post-it pad in your bag on the way to your next doctor’s appointment. Write quick encouraging notes while you are waiting and stick them in the magazines in the waiting room.
14. Donate blood at a blood drive.
15. Running ahead of time one morning? Pick up a special treat – donuts, coffee, bagels etc. for your class or office. Everyone loves a surprise treat! (Our favorite is Clean Juice’s wellness shots!)
16. Double (or triple or quadruple) whatever tip you usually leave your waiter. Write a sweet note on the receipt to go with it, maybe mentioning something personal or a way they impressed you. Everyone loves to hear positive details about themselves!
17. Hold a door for someone every time you can in a day & compliment them on first thing that comes to mind
18. Make a list of the top 10 things you love about yourself. Because you need to be kind to yourself first!!
What are some of the ways you like to spread kindness? Leave yours in the comments below!!
At the end of every year, our church challenges us to pick a word that we are believe God will use in our life in the coming year. For 2019, I chose the word resilience – the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
The end of 2018 was a tough season for me; I felt fragile and defeated. It was the culmination of all the basic everyday stuff: leadership, owning a business, wife-life, mom-life, trying to honor God correctly, and feeling insufficient to serve in all the other roles that matter to me: daughter, sister, neighbor, friend.
For the second half of 2018, I went to bed every night feeling inadequate.
At some point during this time, I watched a YouTube video of Chamath Palihapitiya, an early senior executive of Facebook, talking to Stanford University graduate students about the way social media changes the way our brains and society work. It was intriguing – and frightening; frightening in the I-gotta-make-a-change kind of way. The link between this brain change he was describing and my feelings of inadequacy was undeniable.
So, I decided to take action. I took a big step back; I decided to break-up with Instagram. This separation from social media was beneficial in so many ways.
Here are five important lessons I learned in the process.
CHAMATH PALIHAPITIYA, YOU’RE PROBABLY RIGHT.
Palihapitiya believes that we’ve all become trained by social media to rely on short-term dopamine hits that remap our respective brains. And that chemical reaction is changing the way we interact with one another.
In addition, he worries that when we choose to curate our lives for the validation of others, we are creating a vapid, empty population that spans the entire world – as in, billions of people. So, billions of vapid, empty beings craving validation from others. His main point: If you feed the beast the beast will consume you. If you push back on it, we have a chance to control it and reign it in. And he is right. We need to be aware that the process of filtering our lives for the eyes of others just isn’t natural. We need to internalize this truth, see the toxicity of social media, and be cautious as we use it in our daily life.
THAT DOESN’T MEAN IT HAS TO BE ALL OR NOTHING.
My personality tends to live in extremes at all times; so, after digesting Palihapitiya’s perspective, my instinct was to say – I’m out; I’m out of social media; I’m out of social media forever. And that’s what I did. I got out. And I loved it. I truly felt at peace and at rest; I hadn’t felt either – or the beautiful combination of both – in a long time. I found myself focusing on quiet time with God; enjoying quality time with my husband, kids, and closest family; seeking rest; serving in a way that was fully present. But as the holidays came, I began to miss the sense of feeling macro-connected and micro-connected. I missed the constructive things that the Instagram community provides: connection with friends who live far away, special inspiration from a sister in Christ, learning a new recipe, a fresh wellness tip.
I realized quickly that I am in relationship with Instagram. And just like a friendship, there are seasons when time spent with that sister is good, rich and fulfilling. But, just as real, are the problematic patterns in any relationship that can suck joy out of your life.
Personalizing that connection to Instagram can help us recognize these dangers and remind us to step back.
PAY ATTENTION, AND TAKE A BREAK.
So, what do you do when you find yourself sinking into unhealthy patterns? (And you will.)
First – get off your friggin’ phone. Seriously.
And do it the first time you have that little twitch in your spirit to do so. Don’t wait until it’s snowballed into something more. A lot of people take one day off a week – i.e. No Social Media Sunday. Others delete the app from their phone for a week at a time when they start to feel too absorbed.
I, personally, love the new iPhone screen time feature that locks you out after a certain period of time. I set it at 20 minutes per day, and I don’t allow myself any longer than that. Game-changer.
Maybe you need an extended time of sanctuary. If so, you should suspend your account for awhile. If anything, just remember – you know you, and you know what you need. The only thing I know for certain is we all need a break sometime. Find yours.
WE NEED TO GIVE EACH OTHER GRACE AND LOVE.
Guess what – there are people who don’t like me out there. This used to eat me alive. During my break from Instagram last fall, I really began to understand the power of vulnerability. I came around to being okay with not being liked. It’s a little humiliating to admit that I’m really just now learning this as a mom of five at age 32; but, I am.
And guess what – there are people who like me out there! The little messages I received when I got back on Instagram were so special and uplifting to me. It was a great reminder to me of the power of our tongues and how much the little stuff matters. Instagram is a great tool to spread positivity – we should grab that chance whenever we can. The women I know who live this way, using social media to encourage others whenever they can, are truly the happiest, kindest, and most confident women I know. I want to live with that kind of alacrity, too.
LOVE YOUR OWN HIGHLIGHT REEL.
The #1 fan of my life is me! And you should be yours. #noshame
One of the things I missed most during my time off from Instagram was looking through my own page. While we are all busy curating and filtering our lives for the viewing of others, we’ve created a picture perfect album of the way God has blessed us.
Try this: after a long, hard day, scroll through your better moments preserved on Instagram and feel the gunk of the day melt away. You are blessed, my friend.
This is just my story; and only some of things I learned during my break from social media.
We’d love to hear from you! Tell us about your social media fast or a way you use these tools to spread positivity. Share in the comments below!
Kat Eckles
Kat Eckles is the owner and chief visionary officer of Clean Juice as well as the driving force behind well happy + kind. Eckles co-owns Clean Juice with her husband, Landon. They have five children together. In 2018, she was an honoree in the Charlotte Business Journal’s Women in Business awards program.
Follow her on Instagram here: @theecklestribe
I am going to go on a little rant – I apologize in advance, but hang in there with me! Not only am I sick of the bullying that goes if you’re overweight, but I am also sick of people putting others down for being small, fit or choosing healthy options to fuel their body instead of junk!
STOP JUDGING. IT IS NOT YOUR LIFE TO JUDGE.
Let’s accept it. Healthy comes in all shapes and sizes. Hormones, chronic stress, increased toxins in the body, genetics and autoimmune diseases are just a few issues that can make it difficult to lose or gain weight, but that does not make someone unhealthy. Just because someone is a size 2 doesn’t mean they don’t eat, are unhealthy or “need a cheeseburger.”
BODY IMAGE & MENTAL HEALTH
Body image and mental health go hand in hand. Consider the stats.
- People who are overweight know they are overweight and most likely already regularly talk down on themselves, so saying just the slightest comment can truly break a person.
- The CDC has seen a 24% increase in suicide rates from 99′ to 2014, with a massive peak after 2006.
- On average there are 123 suicides per day, equating to the 10th leading cause of death in the US.
- Females attempt suicide twice as much as men; however, men are four times more likely to die from suicide than women. Click here for more suicide awareness.
THINGS NOT TO SAY
Putting people down by saying some of the examples below can have serious effects on someone’s mental health. Don’t say:
- Anything that someone could take wrong or anything that you would not like someone to say to you (even in jest).
- Just because you observe that someone is “tiny” or “skinny” doesn’t mean that’s the right thing to say.
- “You could lose a few pounds.”
- “You should start working out.”
- “You need to eat something.”
Stop judging. Stop bullying. Lift one another other up. Empower one another.
THINGS TO SAY
We all know words have power. When considering body image, your words could have a tremendously positive impact on a person’s mental health. Say:
- “You’re beautiful.”
- “You look healthy.”
- “I am proud of your health decisions.”
- “You have good self-control.”
- “You look strong.”
- “You look happy.”
MY PERSONAL STORY
I work hard for the way I look. Even before I was told I have multiple food intolerances I led a highly active life and ate healthy. Sadly, for most of my life I heard “you’re too skinny,” “someone get her a cheeseburger,” and other defaming and isolating slander. Even after my “diagnosis” I lost weight, likely because I eliminated most processed dairy, grains and sugar from my diet.
However, just because I have a small waist and a flat stomach does not mean I do not work hard to be healthy. I try and work out as often as I can; more so, I move my body as much as I can and feed my body with whole, non-processed foods. I am healthy. I am not “skinny,” and I will refuse to let my intolerances, size or other people’s comments define me.
For me, being healthy is eating whole foods, self care, gut health, sleeping well, removing toxins, and eating when you’re hungry.
OUR REALITY
So many Americans under-eat, which can often lead to weight gain. While nearly half of Americans are overweight or obese, there is more health-conscious food and information available than ever before.
So, why is it that so many of us feel forced to make unhealthy choices just to fit in? I think it all comes down to the mind-body connection: body image and mental health.
If you are struggling with self-esteem issues or any mental problems in regards to weight, here are some suggestions:
- Take part in daily self-care:
– Decrease your stress levels and increase your sleep.
Find something you love to do and do it regularly.
2. Stay away from people who are constantly putting you down or pulling you down or away from reaching your goals. Don’t surround yourself with negativity
3. Stay away from weight magazines and watching runway shows; and don’t surround yourself with people who are obsessed with weight/dieting.
4. Avoid “dieting” or fad diets. Diets usually aren’t sustainable, so try and focus on healthy eating and a healthy lifestyle overall by eating when you are hungry with healthy nutrients that your body needs.
5. If you are a mom, be sure to set a good example for your children at a young age. Self-love and intuitive, mindful eating is the best thing you could do for yourself and your children.
Remember the mind-body connection. Remove negative thoughts and replace them with uplifting, encouraging ones.
Confidence is key. Smile. Be brave. Yours is a beautiful body; embrace it.
Jordan Hostetler
Registered Dietitian and Licensed Dietitian Nutritionist who owns a blog where she encourages others to live their happiest and healthiest life through nutrition tips, recipes, and education.
Beautifull Profit Blog
Beautifull Profit Instagram
As an Interior Designer, walking into a well curated space sends my heart racing. My eyes scan the room, trying to soak in and mentally catalog every detail. I observe how a room looks overall, how it is accessorized and even how it smells. Most rooms have one superstar item, but sometimes it is the details that set one room apart from the next. Here is a list of my favorite finishing touches that can elevate your room without breaking the bank.
- White Candles – Scent is the fourth dimension; walking into a room that smells good is great way to brighten your mood. I always look for white candles, which is not always as easy as it seems. Why is it that candle manufacturers believe we need autumn candles to be brown and Christmas candles to be red? The fact is, scent has nothing to do with color, but that is how they usually roll! Some of my favorite brands of seasonal smelling white candles are: Ella B. Candles (made locally in Charlotte), Jo Malone, and Diptyque.
- Fresh Flowers – Can I just say, nothing brings a dose of happy to a space like fresh flowers. For one, they usually smell divine and for two, having natural things present in your decor is good for the spirit. The right flowers can also add a bright pop of color to a neutral space. Of course, there is much to be said for keeping things neutral with white varieties – my favorite! Locally, I find Harris Teeter and Trader Joe’s to be wonderful sources for flowers. I also enjoy ordering online from Farmgirl Flowers.
- Throw Pillows – If you follow me on Instagram @deenaknightdesigns, you know that I love to design with a neutral palette. However I also believe in livening up a space with a pop of color. Color can create a happy vibe, and throw pillows are an economical means to achieving just that. Maybe hot pink floral in the spring, emerald green geometric design in the summer, rust velvet in the fall and jeweled burgundy in the winter? Some of my favorite places to purchase throw pillows are Home Goods, Pottery Barn, Pier1, Serena and Lily, and the list goes on. And here’s a secret tip: I purchase the large 26 inch inserts from Ikea, for $9.99. They also have a fun assortment of covers as well!
——
Deena Knight is an Interior Designer based in Charlotte, NC who loves sharing design, style, and life on her Instagram. To view her portfolio, you can visit her website here.
Fashion is a part of my life that I really enjoy. Although it might not be for everyone, I wanted to share a glimpse into my closet this fall. Fashion, to me, is not just about following trends or styles, but rather about feeling comfortable and confident.
1.Chelsea Boots:
This fall and winter, don’t forget the classic Chelsea Boots.
They are totally acceptable to wear with a suit or jeans and are the ultimate in comfort.
2. Leather jacket:
Layer up with a vintage leather jacket from All Saints.
You can catch this jacket at the outlet at a crazy discounted price. It is super comfortable and cozy.
3. Cuff(er) it up:
This bangle bracelet from Haze and Glory, is fun and unique and adds a stylish touch to any suit or casual wear.
They ship internationally and have a great selection of hand made pieces.
4. Double Breasted suit:
Zara, one of my favorites stores, has affordable pricing.
This suit would be a great addition to any wardrobe. Weekend night out? Wear the blazer with jeans, a button down and your favorite Chelsea Boots.
5. City Sweat Joggers:
Who doesn’t want to chill at home or run errands with some stylish sweats? Check my pick from Lululemon.
Jose Suarez
Jose is an ambassador for many brands including Lululemon, SweatNet, and our very own Clean Juice. Follow him on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/josesuarez84/
AUDIO BOOKS
I love reading self help books! I look for books that will help me become better as a mom, a wife, a friend, and business woman.
MUSIC
Music inspires, motivates, and brings complete joy to my life. My boys and I love to dance and sing along. We have dance parties often! I listen to music to pump me up during a workout. I also listen to music to get me hyped up before teaching. Spotify, Pandora, Itunes, I love them all!
CHIC-FIL-A
If I am going to eat fast food this place is my #1.
CHATEAU MORRISETTE OUR DOG BLUE WINE
I enjoy a glass of wine while I cook dinner. It’s a way to help me relax after a busy day, but I also have a huge appreciation for the way wine is made. I truly appreciate the process.
CLEAN JUICE
Avocado toast and berry bowl for life. Clean juice is important to me because of the trust I have in their product and purpose.
LUNA’S LIVING KITCHEN
My go-to for a sit down healthy meal. I discovered Luna’s when I was nursing my son and had to eat a restricted diet due to his sensitivities.
YOUNG LIVING ESSENTIAL OILS
They are important to me because I know they are safe for my family and I. I use them for cleaning, cooking, medicinal, and emotional/mental well being.
NAP SOCKS
These Brookstone socks go wherever I go! No other sock compares.
RUME REUSABLE BAGS:
I’m obsessed with these bags! They save the earth, machine washable, and come in a variety of sizes and patterns.
TONE IT UP BOOTY BANDS
Exercising is a priority in my life. When I am traveling I bring my booty bands so I can add some resistance to my workout.
About Melissa
Senior Role Model Program
BEAUTY BY EARTH TINTED FACIAL SUNSCREEN
This natural SPF 20 sunscreen is lightly tinted so there’s none of the white chalky weirdness that you get with other mineral-based products. It’s lightweight, water resistant, and serves as the prefect moisturizing base for full make-up or a naked face day.
TECHNIVORM MOCCAMASTER
This is a one-time investment that will improve your mornings for the rest of your life. The Moccamaster is handmade in the Netherlands and makes the highest quality drip coffee on the planet. Imagine! A whole pot of pour over quality coffee brewed with the convenience and ease of a drip coffee maker! I love coffee at a freakish level and I work form home, so being able to quickly grab a good mug is everything to my day.
WHOLE FOODS HOT BAR BACON
BACON PRO TIP: Did you know that you have permission to fill up one of those cardboard buckets at the hot bar with only bacon?! It’s true! If there’s enough available at the magic moment (before 11am) that you happen to be there, you can take ALL OF IT. And you get more bacon for your buck when you buy it with all the fat already rendered off of it! AND it’s delicious. And clean. And do you really need another reason to get in your car right now and drive to Whole Foods for a bucket of hot bar bacon?
RIFLE PAPER COMPANY 18 MONTH PLANNER
I never thought it would work, but going analog with my calendar has changed my life. I’m very visual, so seeing everything laid out on both the monthly spreads and daily pages helps keep me organized and where I’m supposed to be. I love that there’s space to keep up with my own appointments, as well as everything my two tween/teen daughters are into. It’s functional, sturdy, and beautiful!
TRI-CONDEROGA PENCILS
The matte black triangular version of the old standard #2 pencil from Ticonderoga has stolen my heart over all other writing implements. I love their style and the way they feel in my hand. I have rheumatoid arthritis and at times my hands have a hard time holding on to a round pen or pencil. The triangle shape helps me keep my grip even on my worst day.
SHE READS TRUTH BIBLE
This Bible is unlike anything you’ve ever seen. The book itself is a work of art and contains stunning typography, charts, and maps. It’s the newly released Christian Standard Bible (CSB) translation, which is highly rated for both readability and accuracy. It comes in a variety of colors and materials to suit any budget, and every one is really well constructed. If you need some fresh inspiration to get your nose in the Word, this beauty will do the trick!
THERM-A-REST COMPRESSIBLE PILLOW
About twice a year, I take long trips to the bush of rural Kenya. The area where I work is so remote that you can’t run out and pick up whatever you forget, you just have to do without. Sometimes in the weeks leading up to travel I dream that something goes wrong and it’s usually that I forgot my travel pillow, which I affectionately refer to as my boyfriend. We love to cuddle and we’re always together on road trips, flights, and overnights. I love that the chunks of memory foam compress when folded and get nice and fluffy when unrolled. The best part is you can run it through the washer and dryer every time you get home and it stays looking like new.
BOSE NOISE CANCELLING EAR BUDS
Long flights, crowded coffee shops, and sometimes even my home office create a need to silence the noise. As a writer, it’s not always possible to be alone in a quiet place when inspiration strikes. It’s important for me to be able to tune out the distractions around me and these puppies do just the trick. Not only is the noise canceling function top-notch, the sound quality is as expected from Bose— simply impeccable!
TIMBUK2 COPILOT LUGGAGE
I’ve killed many a suitcase dragging my crap across the globe, but even the most violent airport staff can’t seem to injure my trusty Timbuk2 luggage! Made in San Francisco, these intensely practical clamshell suitcases glide on skateboard wheels and are pulled by a durable bike-inspired grip. I have both the carry on and extra large sizes and it’s the only luggage I need.
KARAMA LEATHER WRISTLET
I carry mine everywhere. Even when I’m toting a larger bag, in she goes with all my essentials! My favorite part about this timeless piece that only gets better with age is that it’s handmade by artisans in Ethiopia and sold to support Young Life Africa. Job creation, teens meeting Jesus, and a trusty accessory— that’s a whole lotta good in one little product!
Tia McNelly
blogging + coaching: tiamcnelly.com // @tiamcnellynotes
workshops + podcast: collectedworkshops.com//@collectedworkshops
passion + second home: flourishkenya.org // @flourishkenya
Generosity is often viewed as sharing material or monetary gifts. There are plenty of very real barriers to that type of generosity, but we can always give of our selves. Whether you have a heart that longs to give more or you have a hard time being generous, we can all make choices that deliver love and kindness to others without costing us a penny.
Here are seven practical ways you can choose to be generous in your day-to-day life:
ONE: SHOW UP
Go to other people’s stuff. Support the people you love even if you’re not really into what they’re doing. Be their biggest fan. Everyone needs someone to believe in them. Why not be that person for the people you love? Pour yourself into other people’s work, passion, and dreams. It is so satisfying to know that your encouragement has spurred someone on to greatness.
Furthermore, be present when your people find themselves in times of need. Go to others when they simply need the comfort of your company. Remember that you carry with you the very presence of God. If you aren’t sure what to say or do in the most difficult times, rely on the Spirit to work through you. You may only need to sit and be silent to let God minister through you. All you have to do is show up.
TWO: SERVE WHEN IT COUNTS
Do the thing that needs to be done even if you don’t want to do it. There is no act that is beneath you, no matter how high you climb by societal standards. Taking out trash, scrubbing toilets, changing bandages, filing papers, entering data… you get the point. If there is a need and no one to fulfill it, step up! This might mean sucking it up when someone is desperate for childcare, in need of a ride or a place to stay for a while, or scrambling to put on an event.
Look for ways to be of service to others and live from that posture. Let your constant thought process lead with, “How can I help?” Eventually, you will begin to notice other people’s needs before they do. At that point you are winning at life. You’ve reached the top. You’ve achieved the highest status of being more concerned about others than yourself.
THREE: BE VULNERABLE
Being vulnerable may be the most generous practice of any listed here. It takes courage, humility, and strength of Spirit to practice vulnerability with pure motives. Our culture of pride and can-do attitudes has caused many to view vulnerability as weakness. Admittedly, when practiced with the wrong motives, it can be evidence of weakness in one’s character. However, those who live their lives and engage in relationships with a commitment to vulnerability are often perceived as being the strongest and most admirable. People identify with those they admire. This means that vulnerability can sow seeds of empathy and empathy drives human connection.
Our ability to connect with and offer some part of ourselves to others really depends on our willingness to be seen for what we really are. Thankfully, vulnerability gets easier with practice. Getting good at being vulnerable will make this next act of generosity far easier.
FOUR: TELL THE TRUTH
There are times when the people closest to us are operating with unchecked blind spots. When you see what they can’t see, don’t save yourself the trouble of saying the hard thing. As much as you may think that sparing them the pain of hearing the truth is “nice”, it certainly isn’t kind. If you have a relationship with someone that permits feedback and feedback is warranted— give it.
Before you ever begin, pray for a heart to be helpful and that Jesus would do the talking. Be sure to examine your motives for any judgment, pride or hidden agenda. Measure your feedback against God’s truth and let that be your guide. Take time to empathize and intercede. Try to sit on the other side of the conversation and experience the thing from their perspective. This will shape your messaging and your heart.
Remember to offer constructive ways to move forward. Don’t drop your observation like a judgment bomb and walk away. Stick around to walk it out with them. Be brave and check in with them later as well. Think of ways to come back to encourage, honor, and uphold.
FIVE: SHARE YOUR INSIGHT
If you’ve learned something that has changed the way you think or see God or understand life, please don’t be stingy! A generous soul humbly shares God’s gift of understanding and wisdom. You can do this in casual conversation, in your small group, on social media or another outlet you might have for sharing. Simply say what you’ve learned. God doesn’t want us to put the insight He’s given us in a box and bury it in the ground. The gift of sharing revelation can change a life!
SIX: LET GRACE FLOW
I never feel richer than I do when I’ve been shown grace and I know I don’t deserve it. When someone chooses to see my value instead of my sin, I am overcome with gratitude. Withholding grace is the least generous (and least Christ-like) act we can engage in. Nothing will separate us from intimacy with Jesus faster than refusing to choose grace, forgetting our place of privilege. Sharing the grace Christ put in us through His Holy Spirit is the least we can do to show our gratitude for His sacrifice.
SEVEN: PRAY AND CHECK IN
When someone presents a prayer need, or when you simply detect one, don’t just say you’ll pray, actually pray! Like right then and there! Make their problem your problem and place it before the throne in faith. Stand in the gap for the weak and afraid. Speak bold prayers over those in need and then follow up with them to see how things are going. If the situation hasn’t improved, keep praying.
The beauty of intercession is that it not only impacts the one you pray for, but it brings you into the presence of God, which inevitable transforms you in process. Why would we not allow this consume our days?
See? We have so much to give. Why not start now?
Written by Tia McNelly
blogging + coaching: tiamcnelly.com // @tiamcnellynotes
workshops + podcast: collectedworkshops.com // @collectedworkshops
passion + second home: flourishkenya.org // @flourishkenya